Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm bleeding and have questions
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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