Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
