i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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