we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
