i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
