Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
