these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
