and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
