bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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