Got a toothbrush?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
