I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
