I think my vagina is haunted
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
this boner is exhausting
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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