The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize