Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
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