And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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