dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I came so hard my ears popped.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
