I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
