ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
this hospital has no fireball
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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