I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
