dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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