my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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