lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
