did you get engaged???
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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