Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
