just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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