Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
