im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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