I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
