I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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