So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
