This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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