Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
