i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
