Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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