New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dick very happy bro
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
send nudes
from the living room?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize