This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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