The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
