I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Holy sore nipples Batman
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
