She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
