I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
