I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
