we're blogging at a bar
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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