Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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