So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
