I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
