I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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