Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
