Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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