hotel room ftw
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize