if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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