i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize