Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
