I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize