I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
