I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
