You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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