Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
