What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
