I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Don't make out with my wife yet
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
