We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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