I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
