She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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