You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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