my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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