I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
