I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
