Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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