and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
