areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
