nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
