between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We got so high we made milksteak
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
