One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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