She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
