worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
