So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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