I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
