Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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