question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
