Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
